Okay, before anyone asks me questions like "Who even decorates their house with necklaces?", please remember this:
(This is a thing)
Just last month, a friend of mine came to me to introduce a series of necklace she just ordered. She and I both have a competitive streak, and our friendship are full of stories in which one of us would try to, well, out-fabulous another. Let call her Janice, lest one of you may recognize her from her obsession with accessories and trinkets ( She's quite big on Instagram. Yeah, she beat me at this).
When with me, Janice is not the stunning brunette her Instagram followers usually know. Don't get me wrong, she's still pretty, but not the model kind of beauty. She feels free to tight her hair into a bun instead of letting it stream down her shoulder (which is "bitching hot and itchy", she once said), and wears so many more rings and necklaces than most people are comfortable with. They are probably half her weight.
Anyhow, there she was, in front of me, in my living room, giddy and excited, rummaging through her case, constantly raising her finger to imply it would take only one more second (except for the last time, it never would). When she finally took out the things she was looking for, I had finished counting the number of beads on two of her necklaces. The sound of them colliding with one another was slowly killing my patience.
"So, what do you think?" Janice asked me, evident excitement in her voice, shoving a bunch of necklaces in my face, each with pendant of varying colors.
They were indeed...fanciful. Their string was nothing special. Their pendants, on the other hand,...
(Note: You don't have to love the ocean to own one)
"This is nice." I felt the pendants with my fingers. They were cool to the touch."And hard."
Janice slapped my hands away.
"Be done with the innuendo. Be more spiritual. Why can't you feel the ocean?"
"They are made out of glass, Janice."
"And glass is made from sand. And where are the sand from? The beach! Logic, you should use it sometimes." said Janice, with the face of a woman who just finally found the secret money stash of her husband.
"Uhm." All I could mutter.
"Now, pick your favorite color."
I chose the blue one.
"Classic." Janice nodded in agreement."You must love the sea."
Instargram people. They deduce meaning from trivial things even when none is there.
Janice gave the blue one to me and told me to put it on. To avoid any potential hassle, I acquiesced to her request.
"So?" She asked, then gave a toothy grin.
"My neck feels heavy."
"Oh shoosh. Did you feel the ocean?"
"I certainly feel a cool spot on my chest and it's kind of cool."
Janice shook her head."This is why you should have been in India with me. Get in touch with your inner world more."
Ignoring the ridiculousness of her remark, I asked her to give me the other necklaces. I put all of them on at once, and enjoyed the cool spots where my skin met the glass pendants. I let out a sigh of satisfaction, obviously to Janice's amusement.
"Now, I need to ask you a favor." Janice clapped her hand.
"Nope." I quickly took off the necklaces.
"Oh come on. It's not even that big of a deal. I just needed you to pick a few spots in your house to hang these necklaces up."
"I need new angles for my pictures. My followers are sick of my house. Can't blame them. So, can you do it?"
I gave her the longest sigh I could make. Janice did not mind, because she knew I would agree.
So, it would be an understatement to say that I'm woefully unprepared for what came next. I should have known that an Instagram celebrity would have it in her to ship more than one hundred necklaces to her friend's house. She should be relieved that they fitted into two boxes, or else I would have thrown them out.
"Do we even need this much?"
"Yes, we do. I'm not going to hang them up and take them off just to hang them up again in a different spot. This lot will give us 10 spots to take photos. Now let's get to work."
Though I was much bothered by the mess that I would have to clean up afterwards, I decided to just go along with Janice's game. She had let her hair down and as far as I knew hair-down Instagram celebrity should not be messed with.
For the next three hours, Janice and I spend furnishing the house with the ocean necklaces. The whole time I constantly asked myself if hardcore Instagram users all attended some kind of universal college in arts and designs. Picking the right spot to hang things up seemed to have become Janice's second nature.
I seriously did not know from which she took her ideas. I was kind of impressed with her making a Newton's Cradle using the necklaces. Of course it did not work, but it looked cool and for Janice it was enough. And what shocked me even more that the girl bough a legit Newton's Cradle and got rid of the metal balls just for this. She never told me what happened to the metal balls.
Of course, when it came to gem-like pendants, Janice would not skip the classic "Cups of Light". Throw a bunch of colored gems into cups, fill them up with water, place them near a light source, and voila, you have turned your house into a freaking light show.
(This is a classic one)
If you want to play it hardcore, you can hang the pendants on your ceiling lamp to make a (sort of) chandelier. The necklaces reflect light very well, dyeing your room with a glimmering blue.
(This one is a bit extra. You can buy a chandelier for $2000 instead)
One of Janice's favorite household devices is the clothes hanger, and not just because she had too many clothes on her hands. With the right kind of necklaces, any coat hanger can turn into a beautiful piece of decoration. You can just reach out and play with the necklaces whenever you go past the hanger. Interactivity is one key feature of a well decorated house.
Another very cool idea is to hang the necklaces on a wind chime. The pendants of these ocean necklaces are light enough to create sound when a wind blows by, and the blue hue they gives off when the sun shines through is pleasant for your eyes.
Surprisingly, this whole debacle was a delightful experience. Janice and I did not have to invest much effort. Most of the time we spent drink coffee thinking about where to hang the next set of necklaces. Janice did most of the thinking, obviously. I just nodded along, because I believed she could make my house look more fanciful. At least she could not make it worse.
All in all, the nice thing about the necklaces was that they were extremely easy to put on and no less easy to put off. Unlike rugs, antlers, Chinese, lamps, paintings, they are small, nearly weightless and cheap. You can hold ten or twenty not breaking a sweat, and if you drop them, a "clank" sound is the worst that can happen. Janice and I moved the necklaces around many times, adjusted them in every direction possible. I could not imagine us doing the same with other decorative pieces.
Since the necklaces were nearly weightless, the air they brought to my house had the same vibe. Obviously they took up some space, but it did not feel crammed or suffocating or messy. Janice noticed my reticence.
"Aw, you like my style"
I really hated to admit that she was right and it showed. Janice definitely did not mind my discomfort, she only cared that she was right.
"Kind of surprising that we put on a bunch of stuffs but the house seems more...open."
"That is because you are aware that you can get rid of them easily if you want to. It gives you a new sense of control over your environments."
Certainly Janice was offended by the look I gave her after that. To be fair I did forget she graduated from Instagram School of Arts and so might have underestimated her artistic ability a bit.
To tell the truth, I was quite in doubt of Janice when she said we could decorate the house with necklaces. I thought their size would stop them from making any kind of significant impact on the house as a whole. Quite shocking how the choice of location could bring the best out of a tiny piece of accessory. The best part? For a lazy person like me, putting them up was quite a breeze. Anyone who has ever tried to hang up a painting or make a DIY decorative piece knows exactly what I'm talking about.
The rest of the days was spent taking photos. I had intended to just sit back and relax with a glass of wine in my hand, but Janice had grown sick of selfie so she needed an begrudging photographer, which was me. As time went by I grew more and more certain my friend dabbled in witchcraft, not breaking a sweat despite the hundreds of poses she made in front of the camera. At the end of the day, she even had enough mental power to put filters on the pictures. Each one of them. Different mixes of filters. And she had the gall to give me the "What?" look.
As I took her to her car, Janice told me to tell her in advance when I wanted to get the necklaces out of my house.
"It's going to be quite a while before that. I need some decoration in my house and I'm short on money for now."
"Oh, take your time. Take pictures. Live."
Our conversation then diverged to plans we made for the rest of the week. Janice did most of the talking. She was enthusiastic about the outfits she thought would fit the necklaces quite well. I did not like the direction the conversation was heading in.
"So, I was thinking—"
"Nope." I said as I opened the door for her.
"Shopping. Tomorrow. Clothes for the necklaces. A whole new photoshoot."
I gave her a look that could kill. But it was no use.
"Weekend. Give me a break."
"It's going to be fun. Chin up!" She said, starting up her car.
As Janice drove away, I noticed an ocean necklace hung on the car mirror. Loyal to her brand, as always.
That night, I saw my house in a whole new way. It was nice feeling like you took care of it somehow. Of course I would get bored of this decoration one day. Maybe after that shopping session (story for another time). But I did not dread the day I would have to get rid of the necklaces. Janice is going to be there with me, and I know the necklaces are easy to be removed. That morning will be spent drinking tea and watching Netflix. Or perhaps just another photoshoot. For now, my house is a haven for necklaces.
P/S: You can immediately own one of these necklaces at https://rosagiftshop.com/products/ocean-drop . They are on sales right now so be quick!